I never knew that all the words constantly twirling, twisting, teasing me were only begging for the freedom to be set loose on a page of paper.
Who knew?
Something practically magical occurs as I pull out a piece of paper and click open a pen, or open up a blank page and position my fingers over a keyboard.
No longer am I thinking too many thoughts at once.
No longer is there chaos in my head.
It's as if those poking, prodding words line up in an orderly fashion (a rare occurance) to file neatly out in a controlled manner. Paper and pen have become my best friends- my safe haven if you will- to create and discover. Why did I shy away from writing for so long? The fear of not being good enough? I had a breakthrough moment when I realized I shouldn't care whether the end product is a work of genius.
It's the process that matters.
For as long as I can remember I've struggled with self-criticism and an internal judgmental commentary regarding everything I did. That critical voice in my head has pushed me to accomplish a crazy amount, yet I've never really felt any of it was
"good enough".
Realizing that DOING a painting or writing a story is more important than THINKING about it gave me a clearer understanding of how it feels to actually enjoy the process.
No anxiety.
Being present in the moment and loving WHAT IS- whether a masterpiece or flop- allows me to create without limits or expectations.
No comments:
Post a Comment